"I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long"
A thought is a hard thing to control.
Girl, Interrupted (1999)
“I want the awkward silences that really aren’t that awkward. I want to look at your from the passenger seat as you sing along to the radio and drive with only one arm. I want the late night drives to Maccas where i have to pay for half because you forgot your wallet. I want the late night pick-ups where you pick me up after a night out with my friends. Sometimes I’ll be tipsy and you’ll just laugh at me as I sing along to songs I’ve never heard. I want to pick you up at 3am, when you’re drunk and complaining, but still awake enough to thank me for being me. I want to drive you to your house and lay you down in bed and kiss you goodnight and cook you breakfast in the morning when your head hurts too much to even think. I want you to ask me what my friends were pointing at and I’ll just laugh, saying ‘I don’t know’ and you’ll shoot back at me, saying I do know, but I don’t want to tell you, which is half true; I don’t want to tell you so you’ll tease me a bit more. I want you to tease me about my driving, saying how I stalled an automatic when really I just turned the car off. I want to fight when you’re texting another girl, or when you forget to say happy birthday. I want to fight when I say I hate you getting drunk often and never paying for our food. I want you to scream at me and I want to run out of your house. I want to cry and have mascara pouring down my face when you chase after me, kissing me and holding me, telling me you’re sorry. I want to slap you and I want you to hate me for it. I want to say I’m sorry and kiss you and I want you to forgive me.
I want the teases, the late nights, the mocks, the laughs, the silences, the fights, the break-ups and the make-ups.
I want every inch of you. Your flaws and imperfections.
I want you.”
Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.